Saturday, November 30, 2013

Santa Overload at Family Dollar

By Manfried Rieder Starhemberg

"We just need to stop and get some Windex and some dry cat food". With my wife this always sounds like the voice of doom to me because she can spend ten minutes at the Vista grocery emporium picking just that very special lemon.  It takes her serious contemplation to pick from one of the four dozen packages of hamburgers  and she will compare prices from Rite Aid to the Dollar store in Derby to get the great deal on paper towels. Anyhow - the Family Dollar is just down the street from us but one never knows - do one, so I thought it best to bring the family station wagon along.. I have not been in the store in a week but what a transformation had taken place - it has become a mixture of Santa's workshop, Dante's Inferno and with all the shades of red, glitz and kitch could easily double as the front parlor of a Parisian brothel in December.
While Nancy went off to find the best buy on dry cat food and sample window cleaning products, I went and visited with Santa and his offerings. Thankfully there were some isles that were almost untainted by Holiday cheer and I never thought that I could take delight in seeing an orderly row of Soda bottles, an anomaly in this seasonal mayhem.
So, just walk the isles with me if you have the time. If you see something you absolutely cannot do without, the Newport Family Dollar is on Main street just across from the court house. If you come with your wife, just hop on down to Jasper's bar a few hundred feet away and we both can have a pint. I promise you we will not be missed for a while...
Happy shopping ladies!

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